You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
