guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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