are you still at the devil's house?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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