So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
BRING THE BAGELS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
