This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you didnt know i had herpes?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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