i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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