ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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