Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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