Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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