A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Bring me that man meat
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
