What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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