so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's blow job season.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
