Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
