Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
