she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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