I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
