i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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