So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
