You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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