I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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