What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
