Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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