Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
