I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize