No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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