I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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