ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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