Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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