What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
50% drunk capacity currently
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
