So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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