I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
