shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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