i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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