its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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