But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
