Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
