if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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