Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
