I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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