the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
