i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
