You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
