Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Randomize
