i already hear my dad disowning me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
