Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
