I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize