Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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