He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
