that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
