I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Randomize
