That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize