I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
