fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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