I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
