so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
