It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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