is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
