If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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