I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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