Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
