lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
