that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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