I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize